This checklist is for informational purposes only, it is not legal advice. Parenting plans are legal documents. Have any agreement reviewed by a family law attorney before signing.
Six months after your agreement was finalized, you're arguing about spring break. Nobody wrote it down clearly. You both remember the conversation differently. That argument was preventable. This checklist helps you cover everything before it becomes a fight.
Use this checklist to make sure nothing important is missing from your plan. Go through it with your attorney or mediator, and ask your ex to review it the same way.
Vague language in a parenting plan creates conflict. Be specific about every scenario you can imagine. "Reasonable visitation" is not a plan, it is an invitation to fight.
Regular weekly schedule, which days and nights is each parent responsible for?
Alternating weekends, if applicable, which parent has weekends and when does the rotation begin?
Weeknight overnights, are any mid-week overnights included? Specify days.
What happens when the schedule falls on a Monday holiday, does it extend the prior weekend?
How is summer handled, does the regular schedule continue, or does a separate summer schedule apply?
What is the tie-breaker if both parents want the same week in summer and cannot agree?
Holiday schedules typically override the regular weekly rotation. Address each one specifically:
Thanksgiving, which parent has it each year? (Even years/odd years is a common approach.)
Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, split how? Does one parent get Eve and the other Day, or do they alternate annually?
New Year's Eve and New Year's Day
Spring break, full week, or split?
Winter break, how is the two-week school break divided?
Mother's Day and Father's Day, children are with the respective parent.
Each parent's birthday, and each child's birthday.
Memorial Day, Labor Day, Fourth of July, which parent, or alternating?
School in-service days and teacher workdays, how are these handled?
Legal custody is about who makes major decisions for the children, separate from physical custody (where they sleep). Specify who has authority for:
Medical decisions, routine care, elective procedures, specialists, mental health treatment.
Emergency medical decisions, either parent can consent in an emergency, but how are non-emergency decisions made?
Education, choice of school, IEP participation, tutoring, grade retention decisions.
Religious upbringing, attending services, religious education, baptism or other ceremonies.
Extracurricular activities, who decides which activities the children participate in? Who pays?
Passport and travel documents, who holds them, who has access?
What is the process when parents disagree on a major decision, mediation first? Tiebreaker parent?
What is the preferred method of communication, text, email, a co-parenting app like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents?
What is the expected response time for non-urgent messages? (24 hours is common.)
What constitutes an urgent matter requiring faster response?
How will children contact the other parent during parenting time, phone calls, FaceTime, and what times are appropriate?
Rules around discussing the other parent in front of the children.
How will schedule changes be requested, in writing, with how much advance notice?
What happens if a parent needs to swap a day, is it a one-for-one trade? Does the other parent get right of first refusal?
Where do transitions happen, school, a neutral location, one parent's home?
What time do transitions occur on school days? On weekends?
Who is responsible for driving to and from exchanges, each parent drives the child to the other, or one parent drives both ways?
What happens if a parent is late to a transition, is there a grace period? What is the consequence?
Are new partners, relatives, or others allowed to pick up the children? Any restrictions?
What items travel with the child, clothing, backpack, medications, comfort items?
How much advance notice is required for out-of-state travel with the children?
Is written consent from the other parent required for out-of-state travel?
What information must be provided, destination, dates, contact number, where the child will be staying?
International travel, is it permitted? What are the requirements (passport, written consent letter)?
What is the process if one parent wants to relocate to another city or state? How much notice is required?
Does relocation trigger a renegotiation of the custody schedule, and what is that process?
Who pays for school supplies, uniforms, and fees?
Extracurricular activities, are costs split? What percentage? Does both parents' consent determine which activities are chosen?
Medical and dental copays and uncovered expenses, how are these split?
How are unplanned medical expenses handled, prior approval required above a certain dollar amount?
Child care costs, who pays, and does one parent have right of first refusal before a babysitter or daycare is used?
Gifts and clothing, is there an expectation that items bought by one parent stay at that parent's home, or travel with the child?
How and when is child support paid, direct deposit, specific date each month?
How can the parenting plan be informally modified, in writing, with both parents signing off?
Is mediation required before either parent can file for a formal modification in court?
At what age, if any, will the child's preference be considered in schedule decisions? (Age thresholds vary by state, check your state's specific rules with your attorney.)
Does the plan include a scheduled review date, some parents agree to revisit the plan every two to three years as children's needs change?