This guide is for general informational purposes only. For any medical questions about your daughter's health, consult her pediatrician or doctor.
Your daughter calls from the bathroom, voice tight, trying to stay calm. You don't know exactly what she needs but you know she needs something right now. This is the guide you should have read last week.
Your daughter needs you to know this. Not because you're filling in for someone, because you're her dad and you're there. That's reason enough.
No politics. No awkwardness you can't push through. Just the information you need.
Menstruation is a normal part of puberty that typically begins between ages 9 and 16, most commonly around 12 or 13. It happens monthly as the uterus sheds its lining.
A period usually lasts 3–7 days. The cycle (from the start of one period to the start of the next) averages 28 days but varies widely, especially in the first few years. Irregular cycles in early adolescence are completely normal.
Cramping in the lower abdomen, back, or thighs, ranging from mild to significant
Fatigue
Mood changes or irritability in the days before (PMS)
Bloating
Headaches
These are real symptoms. Take them seriously. "Cramps" is not a drama word.
Have these in the bathroom cabinet or under the sink. Don't make her ask:
Pads: a variety pack works. Regular and overnight.
Tampons: if she's older and uses them. Regular absorbency to start.
Ibuprofen: the most effective OTC option for cramps.
A heating pad: genuinely helpful for cramps.
Dark-colored underwear or period underwear: she'll know why.
When in doubt, buy more than you think you need. Running out is the problem.
Mostly: to not make it weird.
Ask what helps. "Do you want ibuprofen? Do you want a heating pad? Do you want to be left alone?" Then do that thing.
Don't minimize. "It's just cramps" is not useful. Some periods are painful enough to be debilitating. If she says she can't function, believe her.
Be the person she can come to when she runs out of supplies at school, at your house, or in an unexpected situation. Keep a small pouch with a pad and a tampon in the car.
Periods so painful she can't go to school or function
Soaking through more than one pad or tampon per hour
No period by age 16
Periods lasting more than 7 days regularly
Sudden severe pain
These are worth a doctor visit. Don't wait on them.
If she hasn't started yet, have a brief, calm, factual conversation before she does. "At some point your period will start, here's what that means and where the supplies are." Five minutes. Calm. No big deal.
If she's already started, same energy. You're not flustered. You're her dad and this is normal.
The dads who handle this matter-of-factly are the ones their daughters remember. Be that dad.
Tool
Enter the last period start date. The calendar predicts the next six months so you're never caught off guard.
Predictions are estimates based on averages. Early cycles are often irregular. Use this as a heads-up tool, not a medical tracker.
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