The Line

I was driving and it came to me.

When things fell apart, I had this idea that a line got drawn. That people were picking sides, or straddling it, or quietly choosing where they stood.

I spent a lot of early time on that. Running the inventory. Who called. Who didn't. Who said the right thing. Who went quiet. I was tracking something, trying to figure out who was really with me.

But somewhere on that drive I started wondering if the line was even real. Maybe nobody was picking sides. Maybe that was just the story I was telling myself to make sense of something that didn't have a clean shape.

Maybe it was mostly in my head.

And then I realized it didn't matter either way.

Not whose side anyone was on. Not whether there were sides at all. The only question that actually meant anything was simpler than all of it: would they still show up for our kids.

Some people I thought had pulled away still show up for our kids. Some people who said all the right things to me have already faded. The line I was trying to track turned out to be the wrong line entirely.

You can burn a lot of time on the loyalty question. Who betrayed you. Who stayed neutral when you wanted them to choose. Whether people really knew what they were doing when they went quiet.

Or you can just ask the one thing that matters going forward.

Are our kids surrounded by people who will show up for them.

If the answer is yes, the rest of it can go.